My Husband Gets Sexually Harassed at Petco, Hawaii

Petco

I don’t know if it’s just the culture in Hawaii or America in general but women are a lot more forward than they seem to be over here in Australia. If I had a penny every time my husband gets hit on, we’d be millionaires. There are times when it’s beneficial like getting extra fried chicken for free at Church’s chicken, my absolute favourite of the fast food variety, or discounts at whatever retail/hospitality place we are at. I’m also not one to get jealous about anything, ever. But there are moments when he gets very upset and uncomfortable and that’s what bothers me.

See, there’s a stereotype that men love to have women throw themselves at them. Well not all men do, and my husband is truly not one to want flirtatious attention from any sort. He will proudly brandish his ring wherever he goes, putting a stop as soon as they make their interests shown and if they are persistent, he’ll tell them to stop harassing him and that his wife is hotter than them (I cringe at this but he’s proud to say things like that).

So out of all stores, the seemingly innocuous Petco on Oahu was the most recent place where a staff member who provided assistance, told him her name was “Candice – like ‘can dis dick fit in my mouth”. Horrified, he told her that was sexual harassment which she brushed off, then she proceeded to climb the ladder to reach the dog food on the top shelf for him, bodyrolling and sticking her ass in his face, saying “no this is sexual harassment”.

Frustrated, he went to tell the cashier that he wanted to lodge a complaint which she brushed off as “she was only trying to hit you”. Disgusted with the fact that he wasn’t being taken seriously by both girls, he told her to fuck off and stormed out. I felt bad for him but had to laugh at the story.

Hoes will be hoes and the stories can be pretty amusing – you can’t make these things up and there are more extreme versions where countless women have tried to flash him, or interrupt him while he’s taking a leak somewhere, grab his ass, etc. He’s not afraid to bitchslap anyone who sexually assaults him but would prefer me to do this. I have only ever punched someone in the mouth one time in my life and I’m the sort to walk away and de-escalate a situation but he would love to see little me try to kick someone’s ass. Hmmm. I really hope it never comes to that.

Btw if Petco ever finds this, I hope you know your Kaneohe store is full of perverted women who sexually harass customers. If I see this Candice, I’ll make her eat the dog food #biatch.

Our Lush Stay at the Hampton Inn & Suites by Hilton in Kapolei, Oahu, Hawaii

Our room at the Hampton Inn & Suites hotel by Hilton, Kapolei, Oahu, Hawaii

We got hooked up at the Hampton Inn & Suites in Kapolei, Oahu by one of Kekai’s good mates before and after our Philippines trip. It’s a pretty lush hotel in the middle of nowhere – well it’s surrounded by a new shopping mall complex, one that is outdoor, ground level only so far and spread out because there’s so much empty space on this side of Oahu. They had only opened 3 months prior to our first stay and it was so nice to stay in a brand new hotel.

Reunited! The Hawaiian surprised me with this pimp hotel, great way to start our holidays ❤️ . . . #Hawaiian #husband #sweetheart #soulmate #sexy #lover #couple #Instagood #instadaily #smile #happy #fun #lifeisgood #lifeisbeautiful #adventures #blessed #life #hilton #oahu #hawaii #hotel #wanderlust #travel #explore #traveller

A photo posted by Mz Trina (@mztrina8) on

The staff are so lovely and easy going with a simple reception area and both times we stayed on the 3rd floor. The rooms were a decent size with a large, plush bed that was super comfortable, all the bits and pieces you expect from a stocked bathroom and it was connected to the Ka Makana Ali’i mall which meant we could eat at a different restaurant for each meal for about a week without going anywhere else.

Our room at the Hampton Inn & Suites hotel by Hilton, Kapolei, Oahu, Hawaii

He was dancing with excitement

Our room at the Hampton Inn & Suites hotel by Hilton, Kapolei, Oahu, Hawaii

The bed was so comfy

They had complimentary brekky which was self-serve style and well-laid out. Lots of space to sit at and plenty of great food options to choose from – I stayed simple with lots of toast with butter and strawberry jam followed by apple juice and hot chocolate, while Kekai sampled the waffle-maker (there were two!), fresh fruit, yoghurt, pastries, bacon and scrambled eggs.

We loved the mini coffee and tea bar located right next to reception which meant we could get tea, coffee or hot chocolate at anytime we wanted. It was right across their gym and near the swimming pool, both modest in size but it’s all you really need for a short stay anyway.

Parking is free and plenty – since they share the parking with the mall and the 24 hour fitness centre across the parking lot which was full of people at peak times so it’s good to see the area becoming an alternative to downtown and Kailua/Kaneohe areas. It’s a pretty great vibe in that area and they had great food and shopping options within a 10 minute driving radius.

Highly recommended to get away from the crowds of Waikiki if you want a base to explore the island but make sure you avoid the peak hours because traffic is as bad as Sydney (though not as bad as what we saw in Manila of course).

 

Day 1: Flying Hawaiian Airlines Standby – Post-Christmas 2016

28 Dec 2016 – Flight from Sydney to Honolulu

I got back to Sydney from Honolulu 30 Sept 2016 after spending 80+ days in Hawaii and had to get back into super hustle mode to build my Australia businesses, which I found was not as easy as I thought it would be to do while out of the country. I guess being in my home where I was familiar with everything and could set a routine really helped me focus, while staying with my husband in our Honolulu apartment for almost 6 months of the year was filled with all sorts of distractions.

For the following 3 months during my stay in Sydney, I managed to double my monthly income which then paid for our entire holiday to the Philippines, including my brief stops before and after to Honolulu. We originally intended to lease the Honolulu apartment until Jan 2017, however due to circumstances out of our control, my husband Kekai (as he prefers to be called, though I am still fond of “Ryen the Hawaiian”) had to move out just a month after I left and stay with his family. I’m glad we were able to save money on the USD$1200/mth rent, though it meant we had to get a hotel for when I come over before and after our Philippines trip. I could have saved another USD$600 from the return flights to Honolulu and flown straight to Manila from Sydney but we had already booked the Honolulu-Manila flights a while ago and it made better sense for me to escort my husband to his second-ever non-North American destination, especially with the sort of trouble he got during customs while travelling alone to visit me in Australia. He is always profiled and judged because of how he looks and just having me by his side really softens his image and we get less hassled everywhere we go.

So anyway, due to budget constraints, I couldn’t stay with Kekai from Christmas to New Year’s Eve on Oahu where all accommodation was at the highest peak of the year. He was pretty upset that we couldn’t spend Christmas together, our first one as a married couple, but I’m sure it will be the last one we stay apart.

I hung out at check-in for 2 hours

Writing this after the entire trip, I can review the return flights via Hawaiian Airlines which were very similar in how they went. I had never flown on standby before and was very grateful to my brother-in-law for hooking up the tickets. I got to the airport at the standard 3 hours prior to departure time and was told that standby passengers have to come back to the check-in desk an hour before the flight leaves, the same time as the crew arrives. I spent 2 hours twiddling my thumbs and was second on the priority list, scored a seat at the very back of the plane, the ones that are reserved for the crew to take breaks in.

Ok, the waiting wasn’t so bad since I settled into some cafe and plugged in to watch some Netflix or something, but had I known earlier, I wouldn’t have come so early.

I do love my Aussie avo feta smash with my soy chai latte. Thanks Coffee Club!

I do love my Aussie avo feta smash with my soy chai latte. Thanks Coffee Club!

The process was different in Honolulu, where I had to check in and go through security to get to the gate and wait around to see if they’ll have a seat for me on the flight. I was priority 2 again but this flight had 0 seats available. By some miracle, one person decided not to get on the flight that day, and the priority 1 person never showed up. So I got on the plane although I was hoping to stay another night, my brother-in-law generously offering his place for us to stay in case I didn’t get on. I can’t thank him enough.

Pro – Unlimited Entertainment

I do like the 64kg of baggage that come included with the flight though I haven’t worked out the costs comparative to Jetstar, but I’m sure Jetstar is relatively competitive when you include the meal and baggage with Hawaiian Air. The best thing about flying Hawaiian is the unlimited movies and TVs with the seat screens. I can’t sleep on planes so doing a 10-hour Hawaii 5-0 TV marathon helped to pass the time quickly.

Middle seat on Hawaiian Airlines

Con – Bitchy Flight Attendants

The only empty seat was next to me and I was publicly scolded by one rude flight attendant when I moved to that seat to make some space between myself and the girl seated to my right. The air hostess basically glared at me and said out loud for everyone around to hear that I can’t sit there because the seat is for crew and the seats we’re in are usually for the crew but they did us a huge favour by letting us sit there so we can make the flight. So unnecessary. A discreet notice in a lowered tone would have done the same job.

I noticed on both flights I witnessed one very rude female flight attendant each way (different ones) who seemed to hate their job and let their personal issues interfere with how they interact with customers. I flew via Jetstar, Cebu Pacific and Philippine Airlines along with Hawaiian Air within a 6-month period and surprisingly found the worst customer service was with Hawaiian Airlines just because of one or two bitchy hostesses.

Con – Lack of Food

With budget airlines like Jetstar and Cebu Pacific, I am fine with ordering the instant noodles, a meat pie or an egg sandwich. They all tasted great and I was glad to save money on overpriced shitty airplane food.

Hawaiian Air only gives you ONE hot meal without options so it’s the same for everyone (whereas PAL gives you TWO meals with two choices for each plus a decent snack and their flight times are the same length), a packet of pretzels for a snack at the start and a shitty sandwich which is half ham and cheese and the other half is egg.

The flight to Honolulu served some fish dish which was disgusting, I didn’t eat the fish because it was dry and bland, along with beans which aren’t great to serve on a flight where a lot of people would get gassy. The flight to Sydney was much better with its Chicken Teriyaki meal.

On the way back, I was seated to a bunch of vegetarians who couldn’t eat the sandwich and the flight attendants told them they had no alternatives, didn’t even offer them other snacks to compensate and basically weren’t helpful. The egg half of the sandwich was ok but the ham and cheese was disgusting and I threw it after the first bite.

Jetstar / PAL > Hawaiian Air

In terms of value and service, I would go with either Jetstar or PAL in future over Hawaiian Air flying economy. The great thing about standby is that you have the chance to get a free upgrade if there is a seat available, so I would take the gamble during off peak travel periods. My husband was fortunate enough to get offered First Class upgrade on both flights to and from Sydney, though the first flight he couldn’t get on because he was wearing shorts (yes he’s a newbie to flying) but he did get on First Class on the way back to Honolulu but didn’t realise it until he picked up his luggage from baggage claim and his bags came out first with PRIORITY / FIRST CLASS on it.

My Belated 2017 New Year’s Post

Happy New Year 2017 Sparkler

It will be February 2017 in 2 days and out of the hazy aftermath of a wonderful 30-day holiday with my husband, I find myself wandering aimlessly through my mind to find motivation to get back on track with my hustle. I felt the urge to blog and wonder how long this will last, as my weakness is my consistency in writing frequently like I used to, about a decade ago when I was still at university.

Much has changed since I started blogging and I’ve been able to simplify my life greatly. I meditated on the purpose of my writing just this morning and realised that it would offer me a therapeutic and creative outlet again while documenting my life and thoughts for my future self; there are so many moments from my past that I can’t remember, as though they never happened, even when recounted by a friend or acquaintance.

It doesn’t really matter if my only reader is my husband and number one fan, or that I write while I find my purpose for blogging; it just matters that I do it when my soul urges me to, like it is at this moment.

I get overwhelmed at the thought of wanting to perfect each post and edit it until I’m satisfied, though this is something I am learning to let go of in all aspects of my life – done is better than perfect and perfection is just an illusion.

It’s the same with my business, whether starting one or growing it. So many times I thought I had to line all these factors up, wait for the pieces to fit and then take the real action steps towards creating a business, when really my success has come from being imperfect and making mistakes while building a “plane in the sky” as the saying goes.

It’s been 1 year and 5 months since I quit my corporate job and I still have no plans on going back to being an employee for now. I have too much fun in doing my own thing and for now, I just want to keep all my business ventures a secret after being so public with my previous dance studio ventures. People are always puzzled as to how I can afford to go on holiday and just how I’m surviving and my story isn’t as glamorous as when I was managing Digital Transformation at Citibank or the head of a dance studio, though I’m having the most fun just geeking out and working from home.

The struggle is real though, when your business stops when you travel and my focus is shifting towards systems that can still generate me an income regardless of where I am; being location independent and ensuring nothing in your business processes and quality suffers as a result of this. That is what I consider freedom and what I am striving for.

The other difficult part is being in a long-distance marriage. My husband is doing what he needs to do to prepare to move to Australia while planning our wedding with my sister-in-law who is my maid of honour. So we’re both busy hustling and in many ways it’s a blessing for both of us to stay focused and use our downtime to rest or keep hustling instead of getting lazy together or having date nights etc. In fact, I think I prefer it this way for now.

Our relationship works because we both trust each other immensely and we’re both committed to the hustle. I am never worried about him seeing other women or partying hard and vice versa because we’re just a lot more mature in so many ways and we’re not the type to be seeking affection elsewhere, no matter how lonely we get or whatever.

I’ve decided to take an indefinite break from Instagram and reduce time spent on any social media. I don’t watch TV or follow the news either so a lot of my time is spent educating myself through business and entrepreneurial content and improving on my tech skills in selling and marketing online. I think blogging will be a better outlet in the end, because the short forms of social networks are fleeting and at times superficial with too many opportunities to get distracted. Here, it’s just me and a blank screen on WordPress.

There’s so much to write about, all the travelling I’ve done in the last 2 years alone could fill months of posts.

I do apologise to all the people who have supported me and encouraged me to keep writing – I have let you down with my lack of motivation. But I have come to realise, after building my latest start up, that action > motivation; habit > why. It’s why I created a routine for myself (be half awake, meditate, actually wake up, freshen up, drink a glass of lemon water, check emails and notifications, work through my To Do list, eat brunch as my first meal, have some downtime, clean up/declutter, eat a light meal, keep working, eat dinner, feed my mind then sleep and repeat). Blogging will have to be included from now on.

-K.

Why My Wedding Isn’t About Me

beach wedding

I really hate planning events and always thought I wasn’t very good at it. When I started dancing in 2005, I began co-creating all sorts of events and then producing all sorts of dance-related competitions, recitals, battle jams and workshops. I was holding 2 events per month for my dance studio which gave me both stress and joy, anxiety and thrills – the before and after effects of a passionate effort to help grow the scene.

You have to be pretty organised and detail-oriented to run events smoothly; my natural aptitude is the complete opposite of these skills, however gaining practice on my weaknesses helped me immensely in all sorts of aspects of my professional and personal ambitions. For that, I am grateful.

I was driven by something more than my ego. I enjoyed seeing the dance community come together – grow, build and celebrate a shared passion of music, hip hop, movement and so on. I also had the most amazing and supportive group of artists and volunteers that shared my vision and believed in the positivity of what we were creating.

Then I quit my job and decided to take a break – from my career, from running a business – which I had poured so much of myself into for over a decade. It was time to reassess how I had changed and what I wanted for my life. Then I met my husband.

I was single for 3.5 years and I purposely stayed that way because I was constantly refining the sort of person I wanted to spend my life with and was very quick in filtering people out of my life romantically. I also don’t think I’ve ever envisioned any sort of wedding in my life, even though I was 90% sure I would get married some time in my 30s.

That, along with my minimalist approach to life, made me want to keep things simple and true to my self and my partner.

We eloped because we could keep things hassle-free and make our special day all about us. The only thing I had to organise was ordering the rings and booking the wedding celebrant. It was all about minimising stress, which would have otherwise taken the fun out of the actual event. It was perfect.

The Hawaiian is the extremely romantic one in our relationship and desperately wants a more formal ceremony with our family and close friends; my mother absolutely dreams about a Hawaiian wedding and so for them, it’s a big deal. I’m just going with it. It actually gives me a little bit of anxiety, with all that event planning that I’m just not keen on.

But it’s not about me; it’s about the people who want to celebrate with us, which is a beautiful thing.

I’m not going to think about how we could better allocate the money (extensive travelling through Europe, investing in real estate or using as business capital for example) or fuss about the effort involved. I guess I will just allow things to happen.

My wedding isn’t about me. It’s about allowing others to celebrate our love.