Lessons in Forgiveness – To the eBay Buyer Who Scammed Me
The last 24 hours were stressful. I haven’t written much about my experiences as an eBay seller since late 2015 after quitting my corporate job, because it didn’t seem like there was anything interesting about it. Based on people who have reached out to me in the past few days because of my previous post, I was very wrong. So here goes.
I’ve had a few issues here and there with eBay buyers who outright lie about something in order to get a refund or replacement. They were small amounts so I brushed it off and blocked them from buying on all my eBay sites and future sites. I’m very diligent at cutting people out of my life in general and filtering my customers is no exception. I don’t need their business and the headaches that come with it. There are plenty more honest people out there to do business with.
So this one was the most stressful so far, because they had the audacity to return a completely different item, damaged and used, claiming it was the item I sent them. I was furious when I opened the package and made steps to take care of the situation right away.
I contacted the buyer with photo evidence, keeping it brief and factual rather than an emotional rant. I leave those for my blog and my other half.
I reported the buyer then contacted eBay who checked my photo evidence and reassured me that I had done the right thing, and that no refund would be given unless I specifically choose to do so on their website.
I open a case against the buyer in the returns process which was swiftly closed several hours later, in the buyer’s favour. I saw this email come through only half an hour after it was sent at 2.30am and called eBay again to file an appeal.
They gave me bad news.
According to them, they have no way of verifying that the photo I submitted is in fact, the item that the buyer sent and/or received in the first place. The reverse logic applies but they favour the buyer because the customer is always right.
My rage and anxiety diminished as I quickly understood the logic of eBay’s ruling and I asked what I could do in future to prevent such situations. They weren’t very helpful so I ended the call and thanked them for assisting me.
I went through various scenarios in my head of how many other ways it could’ve gone but the process is so flawed that they will most likely favour the buyer each time.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more rational and logical in my thinking when I am put under stressful situations, rather than bursting into emotional and sometimes violent fits of rage. I saw the energy expended was not worth it and wanted to quickly resolve my thoughts around it, find the good in the bad, look for the lessons learned, then move on and be determined to do better next time.
So I calmed myself down, thought about how much the actual lost dollar value was to me. I’m not going to cry over the USD$110 they had been refunded; I just meditated myself into a more positive state. Once I did that, my whole being turned around and this is what I envisioned writing to the buyer and other buyers who scam me and other honest, hardworking small business owners.
“To the eBay buyer who scammed me,
No doubt you will be pleased that eBay’s decision was ruled in your favour with very little effort on your part. It’s ok. We both know what you did and I forgive you. I completely forgive you.
Who knows what situation you’re in that made you decide take this sort of action; maybe you’re a single father struggling to pay his bills. Or maybe your partner is distant and you fear losing them and this extra money and shiny new luxury item will get you in their good books. Perhaps it was a gift for your mother whom you love so much but you couldn’t afford it so you had to be creative. We all have our struggles.
It doesn’t really matter what the reason is. I’m glad I could be of help. I thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson and making me proud of myself and how I handled the situation. I appreciate the challenge it gave me with problem solving and conflict resolution. I’m grateful for the opportunity to show myself how much I’ve grown and matured.
You reminded me of only focusing on what I can control. I strongly believe in the formidable power and infinite wisdom of the Universe to hand out its karmic energy as appropriate. I will always strive to keep my karma as good, clean, positive energy where I have nothing to feel guilty about and nothing to hide.
Goodluck to you.
And after I spoke that letter in my mind, thinking of this person and sending them warmth and love and forgiveness, I felt so free.